Worse Job: Bleaching Assholes or Proctology?

There are many timeless questions: What is the meaning of life? What is love? Is there a God? What is worse, bleaching assholes for a living or inspecting the blown out colons of fat old men? Worse Job is where we analyze two jobs and come to an informed critical […]

Squid mouth or anus?
(Squid mouth.)

This man is hideous!

A Bearded Face Covers Your Butterface

Women. Not only are they only worth 77 cents for every dollar a man is worth, but they also typically suffer from facial hair deficiency. And if they don’t suffer from this genetic deficiency, it’s generally not smiled upon. But rejoice, men! If you’re not exactly handsome, just let those […]

Bring in the Clowns: Arrested Development Returns

Charley Douglass can rot in hell. The inventor of the laugh track has been helping idiots to know when to laugh at stuff that’s really not funny for years now. And if you watch a comedy show with a laugh track, you should feel personally insulted by the attempt to […]

Paul Verlaine

Saddam Hussein: bandwagon Yankee fan.

Despots and the Beard

Hitler only had one ball.

Deftones Rule!!’

From their 8th studio album, Deftones never disappoint!! (Koi no Yokan), which means “Premonition Of Love” has all the elements of a kick-ass rock album, dynamics, aggression, refrain and passion. We recommend you listen to this album in the following manner: Pour yourself a tall glass of 18 year-old Scotch […]


It feels like a pussy!!

Why Chuck Norris…Why?

There really aren’t many words of meaning used to describe what Chuck Norris looks like without a beard. But his hands keep trying to strangle him in his sleep and they consistently punch him in the dick every hour. When asked what it feels like to no longer have a […]

Spring on the Beardos

This coming weekend, Beards and Bellies will be embarking on its first pilgrimage to the Arizona desert in search of his Beardedness, Sir Brian Wilson. With Spring Training in full swing, thousands will flock to Scottsdale, AZ to catch spring fever and just get shit-faced blathering on about stats, ERA’s, […]

Eye of the Beard

North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un waves while in a boat during his visit to the Wolnae Islet Defence Detachment in the western sector of the front line, which is near Baengnyeong Island of South Korea

Worming with the Enemy

The once celebrated rebound queen from the 90’s has wormed his way back into the media spotlight over the past few weeks. Following a recent and unannounced journey to North Korea, Rodman supposedly visited with Kim Jong-Un to discuss basketball philosophies, cross-dressing and how to survive a gnarly cocaine binge. […]

Bearded Warriors



You Can Call Me Nancy

Father John Misty aka Josh Tillman, is an indie-folk singer-song writer know previously for his work as the drummer for the Fleet Foxes. We first heard of this bearded wizard on SiriusXMU. Tillman is best know for his breakthrough single and video for “Hollywood Cemetery Forever Sings”, which stars indie […]