Munchma Quchi literally wreaks havoc in his neighbor’s backyard.
What’s madness but nobility of soul at odds with circumstance?
In an effort to revitalize a down franchise, the Buffalo Bills have signed Munchma Quchi to intensify their defense and special teams.
Known for his frequent lapses of mental well-being, the former All-American swears that he has stabilized enough that he “only want(s) to knock the shit out of people in pads, and the only thing I want to burn down is the hopes and dreams of my opponents. And the treehouses of their children.”
Quchi, of Persian, Irish, and Gypsy descent, is most famous for stealing a disabled elderly gentleman’s oxygen tank at the Senior Bowl and transforming it into a makeshift flamethrower to destroy the stadium’s cotton candy machine which he claimed was possessed.
The Bills hope that the combination of Munchma Quchi and Shawn “D-Bag” Merriman will strike their opponents with the fear of mediocrity.