There are plenty of things to do while you drink beer. Beer Pong, Edward 40 hands, Kings, sex, etc. But there’s only one thing that gives you a reason to drink… the building of a sacred beeramid.
A beeramid can come to life in a variety of ways. Some prefer the spontenaity of the Organic Beeramid- when you look around the living room at halftime and say to your roommate, “Instead of cleaning up all these cans, let’s build a fuckin’ beeramid!” To which your roommate promptly agrees to. My personal favorite is the Deliberate Construction Beeramid, or the DBC as I call it. This is the beeramid that is planned out- schematics are drawn, pennies are saved, sick days are used. This is the beeramid that gives us a reason to drink. This is the beeramid that gives mankind a sense of purpose. This is the beeramid that people drop everything to contribute to.
“Hey Mike, what are you up to today?”
“A bunch of stuff. Gotta run some errands, walk the dog, Amber really wants me to go buy some new bedding or something. Oh, I really have to mow the lawn, the shit is out of control. What are you doing?”
“Dude, we have a shitload of Red Oval and we’re building a fucking beeramid! …Mike? Did you hear me? …Hello? Mike?”
“I’ll be right over.” Click.
-Sir Beardsalot
